Only Hope
by temporaryinsanity91
Summary: tommy saves a homeless girl with a dark past from being mugged. he's instantly attached to her, but he has to fight hard to keep her. will he win? will she give up on them? who will stand in their way? will it be too late? T for some language.
1. Section 1 Chapter 1

**Part I: If I Should Stay  
**_**Chapter 1. Angel from the Street**_

"Alright, Man. Catch you later." He holds out his hand for our secret handshake.

"Later, Kwest." I walked out into the alley, outside of G-Major, where I work as a producer, and I head to my car.

I stop dead in my track. Behind the dumpster, there's some kind of scuffle going on and I hear a girl whimper. I rush toward the sound. There's some short bald man holding down small blonde girl, apparently robbing her.

I grab him and haul him off her, shoving him against the wall and punching him hard on the stomach. "Give it back," I snarl angrily at him.

He glares at me.

I punch him again. "Now."

He painfully empties his pockets onto the ground.

"All of it, you son of a bitch," I spit at him.

He emptied his coat pocket. I glared, ready to hit him again, but he emptied his pants pockets too.

"Now get the hell out of here and don't come back. If you do, I'll call the cops."

He scurries away like the rat he is. Poor, pathetic bastard.

I turned to the girl and bright, angry, and fiery blue eyes collide with mine. Angry tears mix with the streaks of dirt on her face. Her platinum hair is greasy, like it hadn't been washed in ages. Her clothes are torn and dirty. Her soft pink lips are pulled into a pout. She's sitting up now, curled into a little ball against the wall with her arms around her knees. Her eyes are still bright with anger and fear as she stares at me.

As I study her, shock bubbles up inside of me. This girl… she couldn't be more than twenty… but she sleeps in the streets! She was… _homeless_! I do my best to cover the shock before it can reach my face. I try to sound soothing instead. "Are you hurt, honey?"

The flashing in her eyes changed from anger to fear and confusion. Her voice was strange… har, but shaky at the same time. "I'm fine."

I look her over. "You're hurt," I insist, "Please let me help you." I hold out my hand tentatively.

After glowering at it for a moment, she places her hand in mine. I have to fight the shock again. Her hand is so tiny and delicate… it disappears in my own. But her fingers have calluses.

"How long have you played guitar?" I grin as I lead her to the Hummer. Good thing I decided against my Viper today. She was out of gas.

"Since I was five," she says rather distantly. "Since the good days." She frowned at the question in my eyes. She had no guitar. "It got stolen last week." It was obvious that she was bitter about the subject.

I changed topics. "Are you hungry?"

She nods eagerly, but then she frowns.

I stare in horror. "No! what kind of gentleman would I be if I let you pay for you own food?!" I gesture to the wad of cash she has in clenched her tiny fist. "Besides, I think you're having some separation anxiety from that, don't you think?"

She nods again, still silent.

I pull into my favorite Asian place and kill the engine.

A small, defeated voice echoes in the silence. "You don't have to do this for me."

Not knowing what to say, I stare at her for a moment before reaching out and gently brushing her bruised cheek. Then I head inside.

"Two orders Chicken and mango, with the steamed rice."

"Will that be all tonight, Mr. Quincy?"

I nod.

"Total is $10.24. Ready in ten minutes."

I wait anxiously for the food and, when it's ready, I dash outside and jump in the car, handing her the food so I can drive.

Half way home, she's devoured her food _and_ mine. "I'm so sorry! I was just so hungry and--"

I chuckle at the empty containers, cutting her off. "It's fine. As long as you're satisfied."

She nods and I chuckle again.

"I'll make myself a sandwich. Don't worry about me." Then I notice her eyes drooping slightly. "You're tired. Come on, let's get you inside."

Her eyes widened. "You don't have to…"

"Rest, okay? Don't worry about a thing."

"Thankyouimsorry…" she's asleep.

The whole mansion cliché thing pissed me off, so I bought a small house in the 'burbs instead. In the summer, flowers and a perfectly manicured lawn line the path to the wrap-around porch. My house is navy blue with white shutters around the windows. It's very homey and I enjoy it as much as I hope my slumbering guest will. I carry her inside and set her down in the bathroom. "Wake up. Hey."

Bright blue eyes collide with mine. "Hi."

"Hi. How about a bath?"

She nods weakly. "Okay."

I run the bath for her, making sure the water is warm before leaving her to her privacy. I go back a few minutes later, with the intention of swapping her dirty clothes for some new ones, but what I see instead makes me laugh: she is sound asleep in the midst of all the suds. "Oh, girl," I chuckle as I test the water with my finger before running the hot water again.

She sighs contentedly. "Warm," she mumbles before jumping awake. "You're… in here… with me."

"I was worried about you drowning in the tub in your sleep," I tease her.

She raises an eyebrow.

"Better?"

"Much, thanks."

I nod and put a hot towel next to the clothes I dropped off just now. i grab a bottle of shampoo. "May I?"

She eyes me warily but nods, leaning her head into my hands. After carefully wetting her hair, I squeeze the oozy blue liquid into my palm and begin to massage her scalp. The whole situation is sort of awkward. After all, I've never taken care of someone before. I kind of like it.

I rinse her hair and as I do, I notice that it, once greasy, is now as soft and silky as if she went to a salon every day.

I get out of the bathroom and turn on a movie as I wait for her to dry off and get dressed. She comes downstairs in my pants and one of my t-shirts. She looks gorgeous.

She curls up on the opposite side of the couch, focused on the movie, but only ten minutes later, she's snoring lightly as she sleeps.

Chuckling again, I get up and make myself a sandwich before returning to my movie. When it ends, I carry her up to the spare room.

"Kevin." Her voice is so soft I'm not even sure I heard it. I go to put her down. "Don't go," she whimpers, more clearly this time. She clutches my shirt. "No, Kevin!" she cries, clutching desperately at my shirt as I try to pull her loose.

I try a different approach. I sit on the bed with her, leaning over her as I bring her to rest on the pillow. Immediately, she lets go and snuggles deep into the covers, curling into a ball. "Love you," she mumbles incoherently.

On impulse, I brush her wet platinum locks away from her face and press a kiss to her temple. Then I realize that I just _kissed _her and hightail it out of there. I set her clothes to dry and take a quick shower before heading to bed. I can't sleep. There's a beautiful homeless girl down the hall who hasn't said more than ten words since I met her only a few hours ago. She doesn't deserve to be out there. She's scared and alone and _homeless_. God, I can't get over that.

But yet, she makes my heart flip more than everyone I've know in my life put together. How _odd._

I jump out of bed and grab my keys, this time heading for my viper. I have no clue who she is or where she's from, but I want her to stay. I _need_ her to stay. I push away the thought as I run to the ATM. I take out a hundred bucks then hit the supermarket. I buy some pancake mix and chocolate chips. She strikes me as that kind of girl. I also pick up more coffee, and some milk and cereal.

I pay for my stuff and hurry home. I stick the remaining seventy four dollars in her wad of cash, which I found adds up to a grand total of twenty six dollars.

It isn't fair.

I don't understand why I'm so protective of her, why I feel so attached. I've only know her for a couple of hours. During most of which she's been asleep. She doesn't belong out there, cold, alone, in constant danger; she belongs…

I don't even want to finish that. I'm going to sleep now. Like that will be easy.

When I finally do fall asleep, I have this dream. I'm driving along on the highway into the sunset. The viper's top is down, and the wind is playing with our hair.

One hand is on the wheel, and the other on the gearshift **(a/n: that's what you call it, right?). **There is another hand, small and pale, over mine, and I diamond shines brilliantly from its third finger. I look to see her face, but it's blurry. I don't see anything.

I wake up shocked, unrested, and more confused than ever and start to head to the kitchen when I stop. Something isn't right. It's awfully quiet in here.

I head down the hall to her room and my heart hits the floor. The bed is made as if no one had ever been in here. There's a piece of paperfolded on the clothes she left—my clothes. Piled neatly and folded like something out of those _Left Behind_ movies. I shakily take it and read:

_Thanks for letting me stay. You didn't have to do that._

I sigh mournfully. She's gone. The angel from the street is gone and I didn't even get her name.


	2. Section 1 Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2: Hope**_

I walk on the along, mindlessly crossing the streets, and wandering without any particular destination. That man had been so kind. He didn't need to do all those things for me. I've never felt safer than when I stayed with him. But I'm lost now… I don't remember how to get back.

It doesn't matter anymore anyway; he was just a nice guy. It's not like he tried to look me up, or like he will in the future. There's no doubt he felt like it was the right thing to do. And that he'd be pissed if I showed up at his house after two weeks.

Even still, I could have used it, played on his guilty feelings to keep feeling safe and warm…

I shiver. I've been used only once in my life, and I didn't like it. I'm sure he wouldn't have either. Besides, the man seemed so hurt and beaten by life that I don't think he could bear to be used anymore.

I curse myself as I cross another street. How could I have been so stupid?! How could I even think about something that cruel? If there was a God out there, He would have smote me. Struck my with lightning right there for even thinking about taking advantage of that poor guy.

I sit down at the pier and let my feet dangle over the freezing water. Of course I wound up over here again. The glare of the sunrise on the icy water actually feels pleasant, because it feels hopeful. Hope is something I haven't felt in a long, long time.

Nearby, a blue car with white stripes peels into the street, leaving a cloud of dust and snow in its place.

* * *

I shiver over and over as I stand, waiting for the crosswalk. It's so bitter cold. It's freezing rain. The sky is so black and dreary that it looks just like I feel. I know I have to find a place to stay tonight, or I'll freeze to death. I know that the shelter run by Sister Tabitha doesn't close for the night until midnight. She locks the doors then, so that thieves and criminals don't come in. she's also deaf, so after that point, if you knock on the door, she probably won't hear you. That's where I'm headed now.

I run across the street, slipping twice on the ice and barely making it before closing. I settle into the bed in the corner like I usually do, setting my knife under the overused but comfy pillow and curling up on my side.

I notice that the cash in my pocket is making more resistance than usual. I've had it in my back pocket so long, but I moved it to the front pocket after I caught someone trying to pick it today. I pull it out now and examine it.

I cry. I count it over and over, not believing my eyes. My cash adds up to one hundred dollars, where it used to be a mere twenty-six. He put extra cash in my pocket.

Spying a yellow sticky note on one of the twenty dollar bills, I clean my eyes with my sleeve and read it.

_Hey. I'm hoping you stay…I'm making chocolate chip pancakes for you. But if you choose to go, I hope this is enough for food or clothes or anything else. I'm here when you need me,_

_~Tommy._

I sniffle. Wow, there must really be a God, because he sent me an angel named Tommy.


	3. Section 1 Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3: Find Her**_

"What's wrong, man?" Aren't you hungry? I have chicken-mango takeout."

Chicken and mango… I gulp, shaking my head. Everything in the world reminds me of her.

"Spit it out, T. What happened?"

"I don't know, Kwest," I sigh.

"About?" he presses between mouthfuls of food.

"I was walking out yesterday and this guy was mugging this homeless girl."

"What'd you do?"

"Duh, Kwest, I made the bastard give back her stuff and beat the crud out of him. Then I _saw_ her."

Kwest is the incarnation of horror. "You didn't sleep with her, did you?!"

"No! you sicko… no, man. I don't know what came over me. I fed her and took her back to my place. I let her bathe and have the guest room… but he was gone in the morning."

Kwest is virtually choking on his food with laughter. "You? You let a homeless girl in your house? In your _car?!_ I don't believe you." When I glower at him, he stops laughing. "You're really serious, aren't you?"

I nod once, still glaring at him.

"I… I don't get it. So you helped a homeless person. Now you're Mensa material. What's the problem?"

"No problem, I just… she doesn't belong out there, Kwest. You should have seen her. She's this tiny little thing! She's so small, and, God, so thin. She's not more than twenty years old. She looks so fragile and—God, I wish she'd have stayed."

"You're a drama queen, man."

"You're incredulous, but if you had seen her, you would have been just as… affected… as me. Something horrible happened to her, Kwest. Something horrible and vile and unspeakable put her out there. It's not fair."

He stares at me. "You're really serious about this girl, aren't you?"

I just look at him. He sighs.

"Reminds me of my baby sister."

"Oh Kwest…"

"She didn't deserve what dad did to her. Not after all she'd been through to begin with. I… stopped seeing her around and wonder if… maybe she's dead…"

"I'm sorry, man."

"I wish I could… I don't know… anything."

"Now you know."

He raises an eyebrow.

"How I feel," I explained.

"I don't know what to tell you, man," Kwest said honestly.

I scoff. "Well I don't know anything at all."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"H'lo?" I sit up, rubbing the sleep from my exhausted eyes. "Kwest, it's the middle of the night."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to call! I dreamt of her again."

"Kwest, sleep."

"She was screaming and crying, and it was more vivid than it used to be. I couldn't help her…"

"Kwest--"

"What if she's dead?"

"She's better off than those of us who aren't."

"What if she's alive?"

"I don't know, Kwest."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I'm sorry I woke you, I was just upset."

"It's cool… I just don't know how to help you."

"What if I can find her?"

"Find her?" my breath comes out in a low whistle. "It could work… but it'll make you more desperate if you can't."

"Then what do I do?"

"I guess… I guess all we can do is wait."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Hey."

"Hey."

We both sit, silently and solemnly, each immersed in our own lostness.

"So… uh… mix?"

"Yeah. Karma's single."

"Okay."

Ironically enough, Karma's voice filled the room: _ghost of mine, you're making my heart feel heavy. Enough already, so_

I shut it off. "No mixing."

"Fine," Kwest agreed. "But… you've still got that homeless girl on your mind, huh? It's been a few weeks."

"Yes."

"What is it about her?"

"I don't know… she was… _innocent_. You would think that someone who lives on the street steals or drinks or does drugs; that's the cliché. But she… wanted an honest living. She used to play guitar for money for food. Until her guitar got stolen. I assume it was that miserable lowlife I cought hitting her before…"

"Didn't you try to recruit her?" Kwest successfully diverts my attention from my anger at that bastard.

"No… I didn't even think of it; I was so focused on helping her."

"There's more, isn't there."

He knows me too well. "Yeah… I just… do you think it is weird to think that… that she belongs with _me_?"

Kwest doesn't know whether to be serious or be sarcastic. He settles for trying hard to keep a straight face. "You just… I can't even tell you how crazy you sounded just now, Tommy."

"I know, I know. I feel crazy. It was like a magnet. Felt it and I know she did too--"

"Get out. Go home, dude. Do something with yourself. Get wasted, I don't care. Just get the hell out. I'll finish mixing."

"Thanks," muttered, only half-sarcastic as I shuffled out of the studio and toward my car. I don't want to do anything. Not even get wasted, which surprises me. Instead, I feel like driving. Driving frees the soul. There's nothing like speeding down the freeway, top down, letting the wind blow apart the hairdo you spent half hour on…

Unfortunately, it's too cold to have the top down and I have to stop for a red light. I drum my fingers against the wheel impatiently, not noting my surroundings much. Until I see _her_, crossing the street.

Not minding the ticket I'll get later, I make a left turn and follow her.


	4. Section 1 Chapter 4

**_Chapter 4: Baby, It's Cold Outside_**

I am walking to the cemetery. It seems like I can only be at peace when my dad is nearby. He was killed in an accident when I was four. I play guitar because of him; he loved old rock bands, like the Beetles. He named my sister and I for their songs. He had a collection of old vinyl records that was actually worth a lot of money. He would play them and dance with us in the living room. Those are my best memories. He bought me a guitar before he died and started to teach me. I've been playing ever since.

After he died, nothing soothed me more than playing his records and remembering dancing on his feet. But then mom abandoned me; the collection was auctioned off to some rich guy. Ironically, she took Sadie with her, but left me. Now the only peace I can get from my dad is where he is laid to rest. I have nothing else.

"Hey! Hey, wait!"

I whip around, stunned. "Tommy? Is that… i-is that you?" the name is foreign in my mind and on my tongue, since I haven't been able to even think about him in a long time. I'm surprised when he pulls me into a suffocating hug. I haven't had a bath since the night at his house weeks ago; I stink, and it's embarrassing.

He must have noticed my self-consciousness, because he hugs me closer. "Don't be that way. I don't care; I'm just happy to see you." he grins sheepishly, and all my insides—brain included—turn to mush.

"Where's your coat? Aren't you cold?!" he asks when he sees me shiver at the wind.

"Don't have one," I reply.

Now he's angry. "What?! It's fifteen degrees out here!" he points to the street. "Get in, we're going."

"What?"

"I won't leave you here to freeze to death."

I shrug. "I'm used to it."

He practically growls in response. It's quite possibly the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Wait, did I just think that?

His face lights up then, and I know he's up to something. I look on in horror as he takes off his coat and scarf and offers them to me.

"No. Oh, no. now way. I'm not letting you strip for me." That sounded better in my head.

I try to protest, but I notice two things: first, how blue his eyes are, and second, how angrily they're flashing, daring me to keep arguing. He wraps his scarf around my neck with gentle hands. Then he holds out his jacket, daring me again with his eyes to reject it. "I can't," I tell him, my voice pathetic.

"Please," he begs, his eyes smoldering in a way that should be outlawed. "For me?"

"I don't even know you!"

"Please. For my peace of mind. So you don't freeze to death on account of me."

I glare at him, but shove my arms through the sleeves anyway. I'm wrapped in the most wonderful scent I've ever smelled. Cologne and leather, with a distinct scent. A _Tommy_ scent.

Speaking of which, he's standing back and examining his handiwork. Then he turns up the collar and grins. "There, like a true fan."

"Fan?" I echo, sounding like an idiot. If he wanted a parrot, he could have gone and bought one; it would have smelled less.

He points at the newsstand across the street. I read one of the headlines there and gasp. "Tommy Q?" No way! I used to make fun of him all the time.

He tips an imaginary hat and bows in an exaggerated manner. "At your service," he replies smoothly in a hideously fake British accent.

I giggle. "You're ridiculous."

He rolls his eyes, laughing along. Then he shivers. "Can I buy you lunch?"

"Oh no… you've done so much…"

"Shh," he says, putting a finger over my lips; they seared under his touch. Then he grabs my sleeve (where my and would be if the sleeve weren't so damn long) and drags me over to his car, a blue car with white stripes.

**J|T**

We've been laughing and talking all afternoon, sitting on my couch. I've learned so much about her. Her favorite singer is Kurt Cobain. She loves the Beetles, something she inherited from her dad. Infact, she and her sister were both named for songs from them… she's been trying to make me guess hers.

Her favorite color is navy blue. She loves the rain. Thunderstorms help her sleep, and she loves to watch the sunrise on the pier when she can't sleep—something I do too. She's an expert in astronomy; she knows the names and histories of every constellation, and can find them easily.

She says that my kitchen reminds her of the kitchen in her old farmhouse. Junior bacon cheeseburgers are her favorite food. She also loves popcorn. Her favorite candy is Skittles, and her favorite chocolate is Lindt Lindor Truffles.

She writes her own music, but that she wouldn't show me. She grows serious.

"What is it?"

"You aren't going to ask me what happened?"

"Not if you aren't ready to answer."

"Thanks." She brightens right back up. "Hey, you wanna hear something funny? My sister knew every dance move to 'Pick Up the Pieces' but she couldn't sing one note."

I laugh, doubling over when she jumps of the couch and starts dancing. "_Oh I was adrift on an ocean all alone…_" I jump in with the next line and soon we're dancing, singing, and laughing like two lunatics until our faces and stomachs hurt from laughter.

"We're so ridiculous," I tell her in between laughs.

She sobers. "I haven't laughed like this in so long…"

I don't know what to say to that.

She grins, her eyes lighting up again. God, this is giving me whiplash. "SO, you haven't gotten it rigt yet. Come on, you have to know enough Beetles songs to be able to guess me name."

I search my head. "Sexy Sadie?" I ask at last.

She shakes her head. "No, that's my sister."

"Ah. I give up. What's your name, already?"

She starts whistling a tune in perfect pitch, and I recognize it immediately. "Jude? Hey Jude?"

"Yep. That's me. Since we're going with the song thing, you must be 'Tommy, can you hear me?' Oh, that's funny. The Who, huh? Are you obsessed with mirrors too?"

"Shut up, Jude. Jude. Hm, that fits you. I like it."

"Thanks," she blushes, and I realize how lovely her blush is and how cute she is when she's embarrassed. She's wringing her tiny hands and, without thinking, I pick one up and hold it in my own. She stares at me, wide eyed, as I study it. "So small," I murmur to myself. "So fragile." I look up at her questioning baby blues. "How do you survive out there?"

She smiles grimly. "I'm tougher than I look."

"I wish it weren't that way."

Tears fill her eyes. "Me too."

"Don't cry!" I pull her into my arms, alarmed. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry, Girl. Please don't cry--" she stiffens in my arms. "What's wrong, Girl. Are you okay?"

"Nothing," she says, pulling herself free of my grasp and standing. "I'm fine. I have to go."

"Wait, no! come back…"

She's gone. She didn't even take the jacket.


	5. Section 1 Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5: This is Madness**_

"What is up with you today?! You're acting like you do when you get hyper listening to the Beach Boys."

"Nothing." I breeze into the studio, whistling. "Chicken and mango?"

"You're offering me food? What's with you, T?"

"I'm not allowed to be in a good mood? Because I can bitch and be grumpy if you prefer."

"No, no." Kwest mutters under his breath something I don't understand. I ignore him and continue to set up for our next artist, still whistling.

"Did you get laid?"

I shake my head. "Nope." I pop the 'p' in the word. I know that he's confused, and I'm enjoying it thoroughly.

"Well?" He asks, frustrated, through the intercom this time.

I stop adjusting the mike and earphones and turn toward him. "I found her, Kwest. Yesterday."

"Really? Where? How? What happened?"

"I was driving home after… well, after you kicked me out," I finish rather sheepishly. "I was at a red light, and I saw her at the pedestrian crossing."

"Is she okay?"

"She's perfect."

He frowns. "I don't understand. Are you _falling_ for this girl?"

I groan. "I don't know. I haven't had that much fun since forever. I learned so much about her. Did you know? She has a thing for Junior bacon cheeseburgers. She loves popcorn and skittles. She's a virtual expert in astronomy. Her favorite color is dark blue. Like navy. She's named from a Beetles song." I groaned again. "And then I had to go screw up the whole thing! God, Kwest, I thought I still had it."

"You do. If you want to lay her."

I groan for the third time. "The one time sex is completely irrelevant! I am actually interested in this girl! And I screw up. Uff, I'm condemned to be single."

He raises an eyebrow.

"I'm twenty-six, man. Most guys my age are at least going steady. Maybe even married…"

Kwest practically falls off his chair. "Whoa. Marriage?! First off, you've seen this girl _twice_, and second, you aren't ready to be married."

"Maybe I am."

He shakes his head. "Maybe when you get the hell over yourself, we can have this talk again."

I gape at him. "What? What does that mean, even?"

"That you have too many issues of your own to deal with a serious girl."

"Name one."

"Guilt."

I sigh and I feel my shoulders slump. "Okay, you got me."

"Okay. Now tell me why you've seen this girl twice and you're already talking about marriage. What are you, a fan girl? I thought we weren't making that mistake again."

"Shut up, man. Besides, this is different."

"Make sure of it, man." He changes the subject. "So what made her bolt?"

I groan. I'm getting tired of that. "I don't know. We were laughing, then we were talking about her life in the street, then she started to cry. All I said was, 'don't cry, Girl,' and then she bolted. She didn't even take the jacket! Holy crap, she didn't take the jacket." Sheer terror makes my blood run cold. "It's like two degrees outside and she's walking around in only a hoodie! She's gonna freeze to death." The thought leaves me breathless. "Oh man--"

"T? calm down, you're going to have a panic attack."

It's like he never spoke. "She's gonna freeze… oh God, it's going to be my fault. It's my fault just like it was with Angie--"

"TOMMY QUINCY, CALM THE HELL DOWN, SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND LISTEN TO ME," Kwest roared, making me stop my rant and look at him in total bewilderment. He'd never yelled at me that way before. In fact, he's never been so crudely direct with me as he's been in this conversation. Oh well, I figure as I sit down, desperate times call for desperate measures… and I was getting pretty desperate.

"Can you relax? If she hasn't frozen to death yet, she won't."

"But a body can only take--"

"Didn't you hear me say shut up and listen? Don't let your heart get away from your head, that usually when you start getting into problems. You barely know her, Tom. You picked her up off an alley where she was being mugged. She's obviously still scared, so don't push her."

"But…"

"When the time is right, it will work out."

I'm turning the tables now. "Maybe you should take your own advice."

He shrugs, suddenly finding his shoes interesting. "Maybe. I need a sandwich." And he's gone, leaving me to handle the next artist myself.

**T|J**

"Hey Jude," sneers the asshole from the alley behind the dollar store on Queen.

"Shut up, James. You kill the song."

"What do you have today, Jude?"

"A good mood, and if you are trying to steal it, know that you've already spoiled it."

"Aww, don't be that way, sweetheart."

I punch him in the face. "Not your 'sweetheart'. Get the hell away from me. Quit screwing with my head."

"Bitch," he muttered, holding his bleeding nose. "You don't have to be like that."

"The hell I don't. Go away."

"Come on, baby, I—"

"I said get the hell away."

"Well perhaps I don't want to." He steps toward me, backing me into the wall and pressing himself against me. My belligerent attitude is replaced by pure, unadulterated fear. "What do you have for me, Girl?" his voice is suggestive, teasing, and downright cruel.

I can't stop the tears. "Leave me alone."

"No." he presses himself closer. His breath is hot on my ear and I wince. "If you aren't going to give me anything, I guess I'll have to take what I can—"

"Catch you later, man."

"Yeah, T. You have plans tonight?"

"Nah, I'm tired."

"Oh, alright. Have a good one."

"You too. Peace."

"Peace." The voice seems to be going away.

I try to scream at it, but his hand clamps over my mouth. "Don't scream."

I sob. The second he lets his guard down, I stomp down hard on his instep and try to run. He grabs me just as I'm about to get away, tripping me. "OUCH!" I scream at him. "Get off me—"

Next, my face is stinging and there are spots in my vision, the only proof he slapped me. "I said shut up!"

Angry hands grab him off me, heaving him up and throwing him away. An equally irate angel voice screams, "I said to stay away from her! What the hell is wrong with you?! where do you get off doing this?! What did you do to her?"

I can only cry from relief. I wasn't imagining his angel voice. He was here! My Tommy came. But… I didn't see his car. I don't understand.

"You're bleeding." The angel voice isn't angry anymore. It's soft and a teensy bit sorrowful. "Where do you hurt, Jude?"

I sniffle. "I don't—"

"Shh," he whispers, soothing my hair from my face. "Don't run off on me, okay? I'll take care of you—" his voice turns angry again—"When I take care of him." He starts muttering angrily into what I presume is his cell phone, interrupted occasionally by an even angrier "where do you think you're going, asshole?" soon he hangs up and I can hear sirens. "Don't you move, you bastard."

Not that he would have, I muse as I look up to see him cowering in the corner by the dumpster. The sirens get closer and I realize how sore I am. James must have hit me harder than I thought. I haven't been sleeping very well. Sleep is a great concept right now—

"Jude! You stay awake, do you hear me? Stay with me, please…"

Oh, my eyes are closed again. Hadn't noticed. With much effort, I peel one open to peer up at him. He sighs in relief. "Jude?"

"I'm here." It sounds like gibberish.

"I'm sorry," he breathes, before turning back to him. "I hope you burn in hell," he spits viciously. He does the angry growling thing again, and I make a mental note not to get on his bad side. He turns back to me. "Don't worry, Jude. They're here now."

Sure enough, a cop and a paramedic hunker down next to me. "Are you okay, sweetheart?"

I nod, my ear scraping against the pavement.

"Can I see your lip, honey?" the medic and Tommy help me sit up, and she tilts my face up while she looks at it. Tommy just hovers annoyingly.

After cleaning up my lip—and, apparently, a matching cut on my temple—she looks at Tommy. "Are you going to stay with her?"

"Yes."

"No!"

We look at each other.

"Jude."

"But Tommy, I—"

"You're hurt. Please, for the love of God, don't fight me on this." Then he picks me up, cradling me to his chest as he takes me to his car. He turns to the medic. "Are there any directions? Should I buy an Ace bandage for her wrist?"

"Nah, just ice it. If the swelling doesn't go down or gets worse, take her to the doctor—"

Doctor? No! Doctors are bad. they hurt. No, I can't go to the doctor, they'll hurt me—

"Jude, honey," he soothes, his voices like melting honey, "Quit struggling. You're going to make me drop you."

"No doctors! Please, no doctors!"

He looks confused. "Okay," he soothes. "The doctors can be negotiable then. Relax, okay? You need to rest."

Hmm. I like rest better than doctors. I snuggle back into his chest. "No doctors," I mumble at him.

"Shh. Okay, baby. No doctors."

I frown. "Where's your car?" it sounds like gibberish again. I really need to sleep.

"Right here," he says, tucking me into a black car, leaning the seat all the way back. "Sleep, okay?" he says before shutting the door. He continues to ask the medic questions. "Is she allowed to take pain killers?"

"Nothing stronger than Ibuprophen. If she starts to feel dizzy, gets nausea, has trouble with eyesight… take her to a doctor."

"How often should I clean the cut on her forehead?"

"As often as you see fit… she was bleeding quite a bit. Just… don't get too obsessive, I have the feeling she's not very used to being pampered."

He mutters something under his breath that sounds like, "well, she better _get_ used to it," and the medic laughed.

I frown. "Better get used to it"? What does that mean?!


	6. Section 1 Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6: Home**_

She's sound asleep when we get home, and I tuck her in in the room that I've dubbed hers. Then I go to the garage and get the spare key. I put it next to the credit card I use the least on the coffee table and settle down on the couch. I pick up my phone and scroll through the contacts until I find the one I need. "Kwest?"

"What's up, dude?"

"I'm not coming in on time tomorrow. I'll try to be there at eleven, but I might be sooner, and I might be much later."

"What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine now."

"Is it you're lady friend again? You're pathetic."

"Thank you, Kwest," I tell him sarcastically. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye. Take care."

"You too."

I turn the tv on mute, and soon I'm fast asleep.

**T|J**

When I wake up, it's very bright, and I'm in a familiar room wrapped in warm comforters. There's a dull ache in my head and wrist, but otherwise I'm sort of alarmed I'm here again. I jump out of bed and make a mad dash for the door, screeching to a halt when the angel voice says in amusement, "Where do you think you're going?"

"Home."

"Oh, and where is that, exactly?"

I sigh. "Alright, you got me." I turn to where he's sitting on the couch with his legs crossed, clad in jeans and a navy blue polo shirt that does wonders for his eyes. His hair is messed and his feet are bare, but in spite of that, he's the most beautiful thing I've seen in my life.

"I'm making pancakes," he continues, still amused. "A little bird told me it's your birthday today."

I stare at him. I know, I told him that when I saw him last, a week, three days, seven hours and forty eight minutes ago. Not that I was counting or anything.

He's floating into the kitchen now, and I hear him chuckle. "Oh, by the way, since you live here now, I thought I'd go over some things with you."

Pick up your jaw, Jude. You're dreaming. He didn't just say that. "What?"

"Come in here. Let me talk to you."

"Tommy," I say cautiously as I walk into the kitchen, "I don't live here. I don't live anywhere," I add sorrowfully.

He frowns for a moment, then he brightens again. His voice is light. "Sure you do. You live here. Now I have to work soon, but I left you the key along with my card and—"

"No way. No way in hell, I'm not letting you! I won't take it."

"Oh yes you will," he says, his voice going from amused to stern. "You will take those and the cash I left you for the bus. Go buy yourself clothes, shoes, and for the love of God, a jacket. A warm one. Buy food you like, anything you want. And I expect you to be home in time for dinner," he adds sternly, "and I expect you to enjoy yourself." He grins again. "Your pancakes are ready. I'll be home around eight." He pecks my cheek and runs for his shoes before running out the back door. Then he runs back in, grabs a comb, and dashes off again.

I just stay and stare at the blue and white card, and the key and cash next to it. "Bye," I whisper to no one.

A head pokes in the front door. "Oh, and by the way, happy birthday." And he's gone again.

* * *

**A/N: that concludes section one, ladies, gentlemen... lentlemen... whatever, it doesn't matter. if you're reading this, i'm talking to you. i love all of you dearly for reviewing and hope you continue to do so as i launch myselfe into Section Two: Perfect**

**one more thing, i'd wait to put the disclaimer at the end of the story, but i have to say now that the names of these sections as well as some of the chapter titles are ripped from the songs from Instant Star. in other words, i don't own them. if you all say i do and i get sued, you all are paying for it XD**

**thanks for all your support, and as always,**

**cheers!!**

**~temporary insanity.**


	7. Section 2 Chapter 1

**Part II: Perfect  
**_**Chapter 1: Talk About My Girl**_

"Hey." His voice is cheerful as he shuts the door and drops his keys on the coffee table. "Watcha watchin?"

"Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, it's called."

"Oh, good show. I've been following it for some time. What episode?"

"Um… I guess the ADA is being stalked by drug dealers—oh shit! The car blew up! What the hell?!"

Tommy's sitting there laughing at me because the explosion on the TV scared the bejesus out of me.

I glare at him. "Anyways, I just turned it on. Your dinner is in the microwave"

"Aww, you didn't have to do that."

"Well hell!" I fume at him. "I can't pay you rent, I'm not allowed to leave… there's no way to repay everything you've done! The least I can do is feed you!! You had nothing in the fridge and—"

"You don't have to pay me back. You're—hey, now. hey, don't get upset." he pouts the most adorable pout. "Please? Your presence here is payback enough. I'm _glad _you're here."

He's using the full force of his baby blues and I soon have to settle for a pathetic pout. "I'm not mad," I grumble at him.

"Good." He brightens. "Thank you for the food. I was really hungry and I gave you all my cash…"

"Oh Tommy—"

"Shh. Let's eat, okay?"

I sigh. "I can take care of myself, you know. I did for a while."

"Well you deserve for someone else to take care of you. Please? Let's get that bandage cleaned up and then we can eat, okay?'

"Yeah, yeah fine," I grumbled again.

He chuckled. "That's my girl."

**J|T**

"So when are you gonna tell me what the holdup was? It's been three weeks. And you come in later now. what's going on, man?"

"It isn't that big a deal or I would have told you."

"Is it that girl? She's the only thing that's kept you out of work in a while."

"You're getting warm," I tell him neutrally.

"What is it? Did something happen?"

"Well--"

"Tommy, there's a girl here who says she's your roommate," interrupted the receptionist.

Kwest cocks an eyebrow. "Roommate?"

"Yes. Roommate. Now stay here so you don't scare her off with your oddness." I get up and follow the receptionist to the front desk, where Jude is pacing anxiously. "Hey. What's up?"

"She looks up, still anxious, back-facing the studios. Her shoulders are hunched from her miserable anxiety. I don't like it.

She hangs her head. "Hi," she mumbles.

"Hey, what's wrong? You okay?"

"Well… I just wanted… I, uh, I just… brought lunch. I actually wanted…" and I don't hear anything after that.

She's really flustered, I muse to myself. "Sorry, I didn't understand what you said…"

"I wanted to see you," she finally mumbles, her eyes following her feet as they shuffle. "But I have this interview at one, so… yeah."

"You got called back?! That's great!" she'd applied to work in several places and I'm pleasantly surprised that she got interviews so soon. "We should celebrate."

"When I get the job, I'll celebrate."

"Fair enough." I catch her chin and make her look at me. "Hey."

Her eyes are fiery and bright as she looks up at me. "Smile, okay? Chin up. You can do this. Hey." I force her to look up at me again with my finger under her chin. "You can do this. You're going to be great, I promise."

"I hope you're right." She releases a shaky breath and her shoulders hunch again. In an effort to cheer her up, I pop my collar in an exaggerated Boyz Attack! move. "I'm _the_ Tommy Q. I _know_ I'm right. I'm _always_ right."

She laughs and the sound is like music in my ears. "My, aren't we stuck on ourselves," he smiles, touching my arm with her delicate hand. "Thank you, Tommy."

I smile at her, glad to see she's not so frazzled anymore. "Go get 'em, Girl."

She stiffens, but then she gives a slightly forced smile and heads for the door. I walk her to the curb. "Where are you headed?"

"Um, there." She points to the café diagonal from G-Major.

"Oh, cool! I could visit you every day."

She looks confused.

"I go there every day."

"You do?" she brightens.

"Yup. _Dopio espresso._"

She giggles. "I'll remember that."

I pull her close. "You'll do great, Girl."

She tenses up again. "Thanks," she says stiffly. "See you later."

**A/N: that episode of SVU is season five episode four, called Loss. Stephanie March(Alex Cabot in the show, she's the kickass blonde ADA who is freakin awesome) leaves the show then (if anyone follows that show, they put her in witness protection. She comes back once in season six and joins the cast again in season ten) so in other words, I didn't make that up. I don't own it, it's not mine. If it were, that kickass blonde lawyer would have stayed on the show the whole time (As much as I loved Diane Neal, who played the new ADA named Casey Novak, I totally loved Cabot more). So there. That's my SVU disclaimer. You all already know I don't own instant star, or else it would still be on.**


	8. Section 2 Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2: The Music_**

I'm setting out dinner when he comes home. "Hey," he mumbles, tossing his jacket on the couch.

"Hey," I tell him, "have a seat, dinner's ready."

"Thanks."

"Sure." I sit across from him and watch him push his food around on his plate, the crease between his eyebrows growing with each stab of his fork. "What? You don't like it?"

"No, no..." he's completely distracted. He puts down his fork. Then he looks up and his eyes are tortured and scorching with turmoil. "You aren't... gonna leave again... are you?"

"No," I answer him, surprised. "Why would I do that?" I bothers me how stressed he is about this.

"You just... I mean, something I did made you mad... or upset... and last time that happened, you left. I just... please, please don't go. Don't leave. Promise."

I sigh. "No, it's me, not you. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you over it. I just reacted poorly to something you said."

"What did I say?"

"Don't worry about it, just finish your--"

"I don't want to upset you anymore."

I look down, sadness overwhelming me. "You called me 'girl'," I whisper. "My foster brother used to call me that."

"Oh. Where's your foster brother?"

"Well..." I struggle with words. "I... his dad... was abusive to his mom. um... one day he beat her until she died. And then he made Kev help him dump the body. He started beating us instead and I ran away. I wonder if he's dead now too."

The turmoil in his eyes deepens. "I'm sorry."

"We tried running away together, but he caught us. The cops... well, they didn't believe us. They said we were just trying to cause trouble with the good doctor. We lived in Alberta. I mean, in a place like that, there shouldn't be enough people for there to be abusers... er, I guess that was their logic."

"Is that why you hate doctors?"

"Partly. The other part is that all his colleagues knew what was happening and didn't care. um... they were the ones that treated us when he beat us up to badly."

"I'm so sorry, Jude," he whispers.

"Kev told me to leave without him. That was seven years ago."

"Wait, so then how old are you?"

"Nineteen," I shrug.

His breath catches and I worry that he's choking on is rice. "Wait, you've been... _out there_... since you were _twelve_?!"

I nod. "Yep. And one arm, too."

His pained eyes widen.

I shrug again. "He broke the other one. Kev was worried about what was going to happen to me. He really loved me, you know. The only family I had. "

He winces.

"And so here I am."

He smiles softly, the turmoil in his eyes disappearing. "And I'm glad," he whispers, taking my hand. "I'm so glad you're here."

**J|T**

So she didn't get the job across the street. For some reason or another, I can't get her out of my head. I mean, she's safe now. I don't have to worry about her. She'll get a job, start making money and get her own apartment and start her life over. She'll spread her wings with my help. She's gonna be fine. That crazy abusive bastard won't be able to find her or hurt her. So why is she still in my head?

"What's wrong with you? Did she leave?"

"No, she's still home. Looking fo a job, you know? The place across the street didn't take her. She's looking into this music store on the other side of town."

"Oh. That's cool. So then... what's wrong with you?"

I sigh. "Nothing... she told me how she wound up on the street."

"Oh?"

I shake my head at him. "Not my story to tell, Kwest. Don't worry; one day, I'll bring her in and you can meet her."

"Really?" he grins when I nod. "I can't wait."

-----

I must have fallen asleep on the couch, because when I open my eyes again to look around, the credits on the movie I was watching are rolling on mute. There's another voice flowing through the house from far away, singing. Accompanied by _my_ piano. I follow the lovely sound to the basement where my personal studio and rehearsal space is.

"_A familiar look,  
A familiar smile  
Makes it so hard  
To make a choice.  
I don't know if I...  
Should stay  
mm, away..."_

She sighs softly as she finishes the song. Then she closes the piano and floats over to where the guitars are on a display on the wall. Scanning them, she selects my newest Gibson and sits down on the floor. Taking off the necklace she had told me holds Joe Strummer's guitar pic, she begins to play, crying as she sings. _"Where does it hurt? Tell me 'cause I understand the words of a--_ Tommy?!" she gasps. "I'm so sorry," she stutters. "I'm sorry, Tommy, I'll put it back-- just don't be mad--" tears fill her eyes again.

"Don't cry. I'm not mad. I love it. When'd you write it?"

"It was for my foster brother. Um, he's the only one who's ever heard it."

"Wow... would you like to record it?"

She looks at me doubtingly before heading back to the piano inside the recording booth as I set up my soundboard. "Um, okay, but not that one. Another one. It's called, 'If I Should Stay' and I just put the music to it a couple days ago, actually. Um, I wrote it during that whole 'should-Jude-move-in-with-Tommy' drama."

I chuckle. "Ready? I'll cue you."

She nods.

"If I Should Stay take one, in five... four..." I count down with my fingers and point to her. She plays through the song from before flawlessly. I grin at her. "You nailed it."

"Thanks."

"I love it, by the way."

She smiles. "Really?"

"Yes. You've got talent. I didn't even know you could play piano."

"Well I guess I'm full of surprises." she turns back to the piano, picking out melodies.

I watch her, totally entranced by the way she is just picking out a melody and letting the music flow from her fingers. I watch her write two more songs before remembering something Kwest said: _"You didn't try to recruit her or something?"_ the lightbulb goes on in my head. "You know," I say to her casually after some time, "My boss would love to hear this."

She literally falls of the bench. "What?"

"Do you want to come to the studio to finish it?"

"Really?" she squeaks.

I nod once. "Yeah. We can add some things to it and mix it and show it to Darius. I know he'll like it. Come on, what do ya say?"

"Oh... okay... well then, I guess I'll stop by—soon."

"Whenever works for you. Get some sleep, okay?"

"'kay."

I turn back to her. "Oh, one more thing."

"Huh?"

"_Mi studio es to studio._ Just please don't hurt it, yeah?"

She smiles brightly, scrambling up form the floor, dashing over to me, and kissing my cheek. "Thanks, Tommy!"

"Always," I answer absently, her scent dazing me long after she's bounced upstairs. What is wrong with me?! I sigh as I realize the answer. Now I just have to convince her...


	9. Section 2 Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3: You Belong With Me_**

A couple weeks have gone by, and Tommy still doesn't mind my little midnight jam sessions. In fact, he told me that he comes to listen a lot; my voice helps him relax and I have often found him asleep on the couch in there as I close up the studio.

He wants to take me to dinner tonight. To a formal restaurant. I don't even know how I'm going to pull it off... it's a restaurant opening, and he got a table that was by paid reservation! It's a place called _The Flame_. And I have absolutely NOTHING to wear. I've never been to a formal event before. I don't know what to do or what--

The point is, when I freaked out about this, he gave me his credit card and told me to go shopping... again. So here I am, at a tiny boutique. With no clue whatsoever on what to buy.

A tiny girl with cinnamon skin and bouncy, puffy, dark brown curls greets me. "Hi, welcome to the Kat Walk. Special occasion?"

"Oh... um... well it's dinner. At this place called _The Flame_."

"Isn't the grand opening tonight?"

I nod.

"Oh wow! You're so lucky. I have the perfect dresses..." and she disappears into rack after rack before finally handing me an armful of dresses and pushing me into the dressing room. I don't understand what the valley girls and the prissy rich people see in trying on clothes for hours... it seems sort of tedious to me.

I get through several dresses-- a pink one with ruffly sleeves I immediately hate, a navy one that is floor length, the traditional little black dress, a blue one that reminds me of Tommy's eyes, and a red slutty one that makes me look desperate-- before one catches my eye. Chocolatey, coppery, and down to my knees, the satiny fabric flows and shimmers to perfection, hugging me in all the right places. It makes my eyes look bluer than normal. The sleeves are full length and simple, widening ever so slightly at the wrist. The V neck is just low enough to show some cleavage without looking slutty.

"Perfect," I tell the mirror, before showing the girl. "Well?"

She runs off and comes back with a bunch of pins in her back, getting busy with tailoring and sizing. I guess she liked it, I muse to myself as she fixes up the hem. "Beautiful," she mutters to herself around a mouthful of pins. "Now you need shoes."

She is a blur of cinnamon and curls again, and then she produces a pair of shoes-- three inch pumps with peeping toes. I already know my feet are going to die. Now there's one thing I'm missing...

"Thanks for your help..."

"Kat," she fills in. "It's no problem. Is there something else I can help you with?"

"Um..." I consider how to ask her this. "Well, I don't really know much about... accessories and make-up and stuff... and I can tell you like making people over. Would you want to help me?"

To both my surprise and my _not_ surprise, she squeals, bouncing up and down. "Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Go get dressed, I'll handle your dress and shoes outside when you're done."

I rush back to change and pay quickly, not bothering to pay attention to the cost; if Tommy can hand out his credit card like it's candy, he can afford this.

Kat shouts orders into a backroom about having the dress ready by five thirty before grabbing my arm and dragging me away. Sure enough, we get back to the shop at 5:28 and the dress is hanging there, ready to go. "Okay," she says, "Where are you meeting him?"

I gulp. "Him?"

She sighed impatiently. "You're trying to impress someone, now where will he get you? Will he pick you up?"

Had it been that obvious? "Home--"

"Okay, we'll go there."

**J|T**

I changed into my dress clothes at work because the agreement was that she would be ready when I got home. I pull up in the driveway and walk in the kitchen door, following the sounds of her muttering to the front hall where she's struggling with some silver, heart-shaped earrings.

"Stupid earring! Ugh, get in my ear. Ow! Hey--"

I chuckle at her tirade, stopping behind her. "Hello there. Need some help?"

She sees me in the mirror and gasps. "You're home! I'm sorry I'm not ready, I just--"

I shush her and take the tiny thing from her fingers, slipping it on and fastening it and resisting the urge to kiss her. She is so beautiful. Her hair isn't in in it's usual flowing waves. It's been pressed into submission and gleams as she moves. Her eyes are so blue, it's making me dizzy.

She shifts uncomfortably. "Um... I'm ready," she whispers.

I realize I'm staring and feel my pockets for my keys. "Um... right. Let, uh... let's go."

The ride is silent the whole way, both of us stealing glances at each other when we think the other isn't looking, both getting caught and staring back awkwardly before staring at the road ahead.

When we get there, the valet opens the door and lets her out before coming around to take the car. I offer her my arm which she takes gingerly, and we head inside. The hostess recognizes me instantly, batting her eyelashes. Great, a fangirl.

"Hello, Tommy," she says her voice unnaturally breathy and high. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jude roll her eyes in disgust and hold a little tighter to my arm.

"Hello," I answer her, indifferent to her flirting. "I made a reservation."

"Right this way," she says, leading us to an intimate, candle lit booth. "Your waiter will be right over, she says with a wink at me.

"Thank you," I tell her, taking Jude's hand and kissing her palm. Her eyes go wide as saucers and the waitress huffs and storms away.

I put her hand down. Waiter? Now he's going to flirt with her! Just freaking--

"Are you okay?" She barely whispers.

"Me? Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. How about you? You doing okay?"

"I think my ankles are gonna die."

"I'm sorry, honey."

"It's fine."

"Do you think you can manage a dance?"

She chuckled. "Sure, if you want your toes to feel like my ankles."

I laughed. "I can handle it. Come on."

I lead her to the dance floor, and we sway in each other's arms in silence for some time before she looks up at me. "Tommy?"

"Hmm?"

"You've been so good to me."

"Jude, I--"

"Why me?"

I sigh. "I don't know. You... you don't belong out there."

"I don't belong anywhere," she says mournfully.

I gape at her. "Nonsense!"

"That's why I was out there."

Not knowing what to say and horror struck by what she thinks, I pull her a little closer to me until the next song ends before pulling back. "Are you thirsty?" I ask as I lead her back to the table.

"A little."

The waiter comes over, flirting with Jude of course as he takes our orders, but she doesn't notice. She's quiet while we wait for our food and she's quiet while we eat.

I have to laugh. I can't ever get over how _enthusiastically_ she eats. Like someone eating food for the first time in weeks. My grocery bill has tripled.

"What?"

"Nothing. You're funny when you eat."

she chuckles at that. "Habit. What you don't eat fast enough gets eaten for you. Especially with that bastard, James."

"James? That was the guy's name?"

She nods. "He always was stealing my stuff."

"Oh Jude..."

"I'm sorry. It's a big jump from pauper to princess."

"Well I hope you enjoy it."

She smiles at me as she pushes away her empty plate. "I can't be grateful enough to you. You really are all I have in this world. My best friend."

I reach over and take her hand in mine, marveling at how tiny it feels. "I'll always be here for you, Jude."

"Thank you," she says sincerely. Then her eyes flicker to the end of the table.

I follow her daze and chuckle. "Dessert?"

She nods eagerly. "Chocolate cheesecake!"

I laugh. "Of course." I order her dessert, which comes back in only a few minutes. While she eats, I polish off my chardonnay. When she's done, we dance again.

**T|J**

"Tommy?" I ask after we've been dancing for a while.

"Yes?"

"Thanks. I feel safe with you, even though I don't belong anywhere."

He looks away for a moment, as if gathering strength from the couple dancing next to us. Then he looks back at me and the burning in his eyes makes me stop breathing. "You see, that's where you're wrong." his voice is a low, husky whisper. "You do, Jude. You belong somewhere."

"Where?" I ask desperately, my voice coming out in a pathetic whimper. It had been my life's unanswered question.

"With me," he whispers, and then his lips fold on mine.


	10. Section 2 Chapter 4

**_Chapter 4: Girlfriend_**

I thought she'd be uncomfortable after I kissed her, but instead she loosened right up, joking and laughing like we were old friends. I enjoyed the rest of my night with her.

Now, as I lay here in my bed in the dark, that moment can't get out of my head. Her lips were perfect. I wonder what this means for us, if she'll run or if she'll stay.

A movement at the door catches my attention and I bolt upright.

She gasps. "I'm sorry!" she whispers brokenly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

I jump out of bed. "No, it's okay."

"I can go back to--"

"No, what's wrong? Are you sick? Do you hurt? What's the matter?"

"I'm sorry to worry you. I'll go back to bed now."

I catch her arm. "Come back. It's okay. Please tell me-- you can tell me anything."

She finally looks up at me, her eyes bright in the darkness. Her face is just as shiny... from tears.

"Don't cry. Please talk to me."

She finally sticks her face in my chest and starts to cry. "I had a bad dream."

"I'm sorry, honey. I'm so sorry. Shh, you were just dreaming, honey. No one can hurt you anymore, okay? Please don't cry." I let my arms close around her and rub her back, soothingly rubbing her back. I thought I would be awkward-- girls crying have never been my strong suit-- but I'm perfectly comfortable calming her down... it's natural.

Her eyes start to droop, and I have to work to keep her upright. "Jude, you're sleepy."

"Mm," she mumbles, "n-sleep. Nightmares," her voice is a hoarse whisper.

"Jude."

"Pease'ommy do't make me go..."

"Aww Jude, you don't have to go." I pick her up and carry her to bed. "You stay here," I whisper in her ear.

"But--"

"Shh," I tell her as I tuck her in, almost like a child. "Go to sleep."

She lets go of me, snuggling into the covers—much like the first night. "Stay," she whispers, already half asleep.

I obediently climb back into bed. "Goodnight," I say softly, draping an arm over her and pulling her close.

She sighs and turns, grunting sort of angrily at the weight of my arm, before settling down. She shifts again, moving closer to me, and snuggles into my chest, taking a fistful of my shirt. She mumbles something into her spot between my chest and neck; her lips tickle the skin of my collar bone. It feels like heaven.

"What was that baby?"

But she's asleep. I follow soon after.

**T|J**

when I wake up, the sun is on my face and there's something warm and heavy on me, snoring lightly in my ear. Wait a minute--

oh my God. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh—oh. I'm fully clothed. That's good. So then what did happen?

As soon as I think it, the memories hit me.

"_Shut Up!"_

"_No! Leave mom alone—oof." he's cut off by a smack that sends him flying into the wall next to me. He holds me close, pressing my face into his chest in an effort to block out the horror when the sight becomes too painful. But I still hear her screams. I shudder against him over and over as her final cries fade into the night air._

"_I didn't mean to wake you."_

"_Come back. Please tell me-- you can tell me anything."_

"_Please don't make me go."_

"_Aww, Jude, you don't have to go."_

"_Good night, Jude."_

My eyes fly open to meet his. "What--?"

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" he brushes some hair away from my face. "Are you okay?"

I nod, silent.

"Hungry?"

Another nod.

"Get ready for your interview. Coffee?"

"Uh-huh," I tell him eagerly.

"'kay, baby. Breakfast will be ready soon."

"Mm-kay."

**J|T**

I'm finishing up her omelette just as she comes flying down the stairs.

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late-- Tommy, have you seen my shoes? Mm, looks good. Crud, I can't find my key--"

"Whoa, slow down, Girlie. Shoes are through the garage entrance. Keys are on the coffee table."

"Thanks. I'm so late--"

"Relax, I'll drive you."

"No... it'll be okay. Don't worry." she snarfs down her omelette and coffee in record time before running off to get her shoes. She runs back into the kitchen, skidding to a stop in front of me. Before I can think, she stretches up on her tiptoes and presses her perfect lips to mine. Then she sighs, her head tilted in thought. "I kind of like that."

I chuckle and kiss her more.

"Tommy?" she asks me after a moment. "Does this mean I'm your girlfriend now?"

I frown. I hadn't thought of that. "Well is that what you want for it to mean?"

after a long pause, she nods once before looking away, ducking her head but peering up at me from under her eyelashes; her lips are drawn into a pout that should be illegal. It is the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

I pull her into my arms. "Then that is what it will mean." the second I said it aloud, a great weight I didn't know I had was lifted from me, and I found it easier to breathe. The painful longing my heart has been prisoner of since I saw her turns into something else: happiness. Peace. Love?

I've never been in love before. It feels... I don't know...

"Now I really have to go."

I sigh. "I guess you need me to drive you now, huh?"

she nods.

"Let's go." I link my fingers through hers, dragging her toward the garage door. When we get to the spot of her interview, I park quickly to walk her in.

she turns to smile at me. "By Tommy," she says shyly.

"Bye, girl. See you later." I kiss her cheek, turning to leave, but I pause. "Jude?"

"Yeah?"

"I... I love you."

She brightens, bouncing back over to me and planting another kiss on my lips. "I love you too, Tommy." and she bounces away, leaving me to stare after her. Hmm... being in love? It feels good.


	11. Section 2 Chapter 5

**_Chapter 5: Giddy_**

"Hey, you're back!"

"Hey! Kwest man, what's up? What'd I miss?"

He looks over at me. "What'd _I _miss?"

I grin. "Nothing," I say as nonchalantly as I can-- and fail.

"How was dinner?" he asks suspiciously.

"Dinner went well." Dinner was everything I had ever dreamed and so much more.

"Did it, now?"

"I mean... yeah, it was good." Wow, trying to suppress m excitement is turning out to be really hard.

"You didn't... lay her or anything?"

Way to pop my bubble, Kwest. Thanks. "Give me some credit, man. I've told you so many times how _different_ she is, how special... and you expect me to treat her like any other piece of ass? Give me a break, Kwest. I didn't lay her."

"So why are you so... giddy?"

"Maybe I'm seeing someone. Steadily."

He stares at me. "No way."

"Yeah. It was official this morning. You should have seen how happy she got when I told her I love her."

Kwest is quiet for a minute. "Do you really love her?"

"Yes." I surprise myself with how immediately I answered that. I didn't even think about it. I didn't have to think about it. I didn't say 'sure' or 'maybe'. I wait for the second thoughts, like the ones with Portia or Angie, but the don't come.

Kwest must have been thinking the same thing, because after a moment, he chuckles. "Start the presses; Tommy Q is _off the market._"

"Shut up, man."

"So when do I get to meet her?"

"On Tuesday. I got her to record something for me at home... recruiting her, you know. I'm bringing her here to do some after hours stuff."

"I'm there, man. So there."


	12. Section 2 Chapter 6

**_Chapter 6: Big Brother_**

On Saturday night, we just lazed and watched movies until we fell asleep on the couch. On Sunday, he worked, then he took me to play pool. I beat him once but he beat me twice. Monday watched to a movie called The Ring... which he told me was a romance but it turned out to be about creepy dead people and seven days or something...

I wound up cowering in Tommy's arms like a child afraid of the Boogey Man. He held me, chuckling when I'd cover my ears or hide my face in his chest. Eventually I fell asleep, encased in the protection of Tommy's strong arms.

When I wake up today, it's to soft kisses on my lips, forehead, neck... I sort of like this. When I open my eyes, he's staring at me, smiling. "Hi, girl."

"Hi."

"Ready for your next interview?"

"No. I wont get the job."

"Aww... you'll get it, don't worry. Cheer up, babe, kay?"

"Why?" I pout.

"Seven days," he hisses in a perfect imitation that sends chills down my spine.

So I send a pillow sailing in his direction. "Shut up Tommy. I call the shower!"

He catches the pillow, laughing.

Soon we're on our way to drop me off at my interview when he glances at me. "Hey, what's your foster brother's name?"

"Kevin."

"What's his full name?"

"Brown. Kevin Levi Brown."

He frowns thoughtfully. "Hmm... what's yours?"

"Judith Ivy Lynn-Harrison."

"It's pretty," he comments, and I blush.

"Thanks."

"Well we're here, babe. I love you. I'll pick you up, okay? Call me when you're done and I'll come take you home. You need to be ready at five-thirty-ish, okay?"

"Okay, Tommy. Love you too. I'll see you later."

"Bye, babe."

I peck his lips and he smiles at me before driving away.

**J|T**

The day can't go by fast enough. I picked up Jude at ten-thirty. I've finished all my paperwork early, I finished mixing Karma's song for her album... now I'm going for lunch with Kwest.

Something is nagging me though. Jude and Kwest's stories are so similar. I can't believe I didn't see it before. And Kwest's real name is Kevin. I can't believe I didn't see it before.

"Hey Kwest?"

"Yeah?"

"What's your whole name?"

He gives me a questioning look. "Kevin Taylor."

"No," I shake my head impatiently. "Your full birth name."

His eyes get sad but he covers it with a suspicious look. "Kevin Levi Brown. Why?"

I try to suppress my excitement. "Curious," I brush off, hoping he doesn't see through me-- like usual. "What's you-- _his_ name?"

"My dad?"

I nod.

"Levi Watson Brown II. My mom's name was Kelly Sanchez-- she never changed her last name. She was... the coolest mom ever."

"I'm sorry man," I say, guilty that I upset him. "I was just curious."

"It's cool."

"Yeah, well--"

"Please, just... it's okay. It's just that the people I love most can't be here with me. I'm alone."

Not for long, my friend. Not for long.

**T|J**

"Hi baby."

"Hey."

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah!" I nod excitedly.

"Okay. Well there's some people you need to meet and some stuff to go over, but otherwise, we're clear for take off."

"I'm excited!"

He watches me practically bounce in my seat, chuckling. "I know. Well, let's get this party started." with that, he races off toward the massive structure called G-Major. When he finally gets there, he rolls to a stop next to a green car. "Jude?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I call you Ivy?"

I consider for a moment, before shrugging. "I guess. If you like it better."

"Maybe I do. My Jude. My Ivy. Jude. Ivy." he tries to decide.

"Kiss me," I burst out, surprising even myself with my randomness.

He laughs, leaning over. "No girl," he says sternly. "That's mistletoe, not ivy."

"Shut up," I mumble between kisses.

Finally he pulls away. "Okay, okay. That's enough. Let's get to work."

"Kissing is better," I pout at him.

He ignores it and gets serious. "Jude, baby? Can I ask you a question?"

I am taken aback by the change of mood. He's been acting weird today. "Um... is everything okay?"

he pulls out his phone, scrolling through it before shoving it into my hands. "Is that your foster brother?"

I stare at the phone in my hands, the glowing screen blurring from my vision. That face! Those eyes! "You found him!" I squeak, not caring how pathetic I sound. "You found my big brother!"

He sighs. "He's been my best friend for years. Since Boyz Attack!... he was a roadie. He was coming up as a drummer and a techie. We got along well."

"T-tommy, you-- you found him!" I squeal happily and launch myself at him.

"Oof," he grunts as he catches me, smiling in contentment at the kisses I was putting all over him.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou..." I keep kissing him until he sighs.

"Okay, Girl." he tries to pull back.

"Nuh-uh. Kisses."

"Okay, Kisses," he laughs. "Let's go. He's been dying to meet you, you know. He doesn't know you're..._ you_ yet."

"He's here?!"

"Of course! He's my wing man. I need him for everything. Come on, let's go."

**J|T**

she's about to burst from excitement. I can feel her practically trembling as I lead her through the alley way, our own personal memory lane, and to the back door. As soon as she's inside, she's off like a bullet from a gun.

When I catch up with her, she's barreling up the stairs to the hospitality loft where Kwest is making a sandwich. "Kevin!" she yells at the top of her lungs. "KEVIN!" she tackles him head on, knocking him over.

"What the hell—Jude?" he rubs his eyes in disbelief. "Baby sister?" and then he throws his arms around her and starts to cry.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me this was your girl?!" Poor Kwest is still in disbelief. We finished up a mix of 'If I Should Stay' and she recorded another song called 'Where Does It Hurt' which was her and Kwest's song. We're now mixing that to be presented to Darius in... oh, two hours.

Jude is sound asleep in Kwest's lap. She didn't want to let go of him since she charged him in hospitality, and he happily worked with her sitting there for most of the night. If I didn't already know how complicated their relationship is, I'd be insane with anger... jealousy too.

"It's a wrap," Kwest sighs tiredly while absently rubbing Jude's back.

I want those to be my hands. Badly. And suddenly, I'm jealous. Not in a 'he definitely stole my girlfriend' way, but in a 'it should be me not you' way.

He looks down at her again. "I can't believe you never told me!"

"You don't know how she cries for you in her dreams... how sad her face gets when she thinks of you. Don't you think that if I'd put it together sooner I'd have brought her to see you?"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, I'm just in shock. That's all. Okay, we skipped a part."

I raise an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"The big brother line. You're my best friend, and there will not be hard feelings... but if you break her heart, I'mma have to break your face."

I grimace. "I'd probably deserve it."

Now Kwest cocks an eyebrow. "You see? Now you can marry her."


	13. author's note sorry

**i'm sorry to everyone who thought this was going to be an update... but i need to get this all out, all at once. this is being posted in every unfinished story on my profile, so if you follow more than one, ignore this after the first time. okay, here we go.**

**I have the WORST case of writer's block EVER! So here's what's going on. I have some stories I'm going to tear down and repost, or maybe not repost... here's what's happening:**

**Piano Man... l've gotten some PMs wondering when I'm going to finish it. Truth is, as of right now all it needs is an epilogue (that I've written and rewritten like twenty six times and am never satisfied with) and some serious editing. So I'm going to do that. I actually sort of hate that story right now, so I'm going to majorly tweak it, maybe. I do all my twilight stories without a beta... if I had one it would be nice, though.**

**I am going to tear down The Reason as well. It also needs serious editing. And I might change the point of view. I feel like first person POV is a bit more engaging.**

**The untitled one I started as a Carlisle/Esme slash Edward/Bella is lost. I lost my notebook. So I don't know when or if I'll repost or update that. I was completely winging that story in my notebook, no outline, no nothing... Just a vague idea of Carlisle and Esme having a son and what their lives would be like.**

**I also have half a chapter for a story I was inspired to write by a nightmare I had, and it is going to be an E/B story entitled 'The Swanson Keep'... I have it outlined and ready to write when I'm done with all my other projects... and there are plenty as you can see.**

**One more thing: the YouPOV story I started called 'If I Were You' I'm completely blocked on. Those of you who have written or read rosalie/emmett stories that have heard the title song (by hoobastank) might have an idea where I'm going with it... help me out with some suggestions. I've scrapped my outline of this story dozens of times, and I'm sort of wondering what to do. So yeah.**

**On to 'Instant Star' Stories. Only Hope also has to be reposted... and I lost the notebooks for that too. So I don't know when I can finish it. That makes me sad, because I had two thirds of the story written when I started posting it. but i will finish it. this i promise.**

**I took down all of 'The Hunted' parts one, two, and three. They might be rewritten... most likely not. I sorta hate them right now too... I think they need to be ferociously readjusted. In the very distant future, with a little help, perhaps, I might edit and repost them. We'll see. **

**'Come Out, Come Out...' is going to be taken down; it won't be edited or reposted. **

**So, next topic: I recently had a burst of inspiration to write fanfics for my childhood favorite TV show, Kim Possible. I have all the chapters finished and ready to be edited (I finished the whole thing in like... three weeks, I think). I do have a beta for my KP fic, his name is Sentinel and he's quite the sidekick. The story is called 'I Lost A World the Other Day' and it's sort of romance, it's got some, okay a little bit more than a little bit of angst, it's got some suspense sections, a little bit of humor... yeah. i'm in love with it. i hope you will be too.**

**I wrote a KP tragedy, entitled Cold. I am writing an alternate ending/extension of that story, and I've hit a bit of a block on it... okay, i'm totally blocked. i type three words and i'm this close to throwing my cool tablet thing across the room. frustrated a bit, but that's part of life i guess. in any case, I'm up to chapter thirteen out of maybe somewhere between 25 and 30, so there's work to be done in all of that. Suggestions and reviews will help!**

**I also cranked out a first chapter for yet another new story... this one involves genetic experiments. I have a lot of research to do in this topic, and I'm very sure it will take a lot of time and subscriptions to iTunes University to get this story down right. I want it to be sci-fi-ish, and romanc-y, and action/adventure-y, and humorous, and all kinds of good stuff that will keep you all reading.**

**All of this being said, you might wonder where I'm going to find time to do all of this... I will. I have recently come into a whoooole lot of free time due to some health issues I'm experiencing... a long story that begins and ends with stress leading to out of control physical symptoms. Maybe it's been a case of 'biting off more than I can chew' seeing as how I work now in addition to school full time in addition to my mom's illness which I've explained already in some author's notes... talked it over with my folks and have made some changes: I reduced my work hours majorly and took the rest of the semester off in lieu of some counseling and treatment for all the other stuff happening to my body as a result of all this... like I said, it's out of control, and I figure it's time to take a step back and help myself before moving on with my education. So now I've got two appointments a week, one day of work a week, and the rest of my schedule is rather empty. **

**So. Slowly but surely, tackling one thing at a time, I will get this stuff done. I don't really know what order I'll get them done in, it sort of depends on my current inspiration. Right now, I'm doing KP fics. Maybe, when I watch BD2 I'll be inspired to write twifics again, and switch back to that. I don't know. In the mean time, if you want to read what's out so far and make suggestions... I will greatly appreciate it. **

**in any case, this is all the news for my stories right now. if you want to try something completely different, drop by the Kim Possible fanfiction archive, there's some pretty cool stuff going on there... I've got all new pals, Sentinel, Levi, this guy writing the most complicated and intense and engaging story I've ever read, entitled 'Fractured' and a whole bunch of funny stuff about drunk villains and manly male teachers in cheer uniforms... yeah. It's getting funky in KPville, so check it. **

**I've also written one shots for movies, which are small in number and rather random bursts of inspiration... so if you like, check those too.**

**If not, and you're simply obsessed with Twilight... you should see about some therapy while you wait for me to fix my twifics... just kidding.**

**Hope you have a wonderful rest of the day... week... month, year... whatever. I'll try to be as efficient as possible with all this. pm or review with any questions, thanks.**


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